Transparency

For most of the blog life here, I've kept things lighthearted, focusing mostly on what Ive been doing. Moving to Albany, trips to new places, visiting with friends and family. But I want this space to be more than that. I want this to be a place I can be transparent and share what's on my heart, as well as my camera roll.

Truth is, I'm just not good at sharing my feelings. I know, I know- that's part of this whole blog thing right? But I know it's something I should be better at. That's why I plan on stepping out of my comfort zone… starting tomorrow. Kidding. I'll start now. 

I think one of the reasons I've had trouble posting my feelings on here is because there are too many "real life" people reading it. Not that I don't want them to know what's going on, but sometimes I'm a little too good at putting on a "life is great" show. So let's start with a few facts I've been sugar coating.

• The fact that I still think about him too much.
• The fact that I don't love the new job, but I do love living in Albany.
• The fact that I don't love nursing in general lately.
• The fact that I miss Texas way more than I imagined.
• The fact that I am anxious about where I'll go after New York.
• The fact that I am questioning if travel nursing is for me.
• The fact that I would regret it I moved back home to my old life so soon.
• The fact that I am struggling to give 100% control to God lately.
• The fact that I have been extra lazy this week since I'll be starting a "lifestyle change" on Monday.
• The fact that I reconnected with an old friend and am smiling more because of it.
• The fact that I feel distant (and not in mileage) from people I didn't expect.

So there it is. Those are my thoughts and feelings as of late. Thanks for being my therapist today. Next time I'll try not to unload everything in one sitting!

Xoxo,

April